When Animals Attack - It happened to me

It was before dawn. I opened the back door of my house. I stepped onto the concrete backyard and looked on at the plants there. I moved towards the backyard water sump. There was a small cabinet that housed the water pump. I walked towards the back wall and the electric pump cabinet was to the right of me. There were a few odds and ends on top of the cabinet. I noticed a white cloth through the corner of my eyes. I walked along, not giving anything any attention.

It moved. With speed.

I abruptly turned to see my attacker. But it was already on me.

Those moments will be etched in my memory till I draw my last breath.

Then it moved past me. Dashed over the fence and made its escape, possibly fearing that I would have returned the attack.

Something was wrong ... it hadnt attacked me. And then realization and stupidity dawned on me. It hadnt been a close encounter with an attacking animal, it had been a brush on the leg with a white cat.

My dreams of reporting my encounter on TV with viewers all over the world, awed at my survival instincts, went up in white smoke. White - a color i'll always hate.

I cursed myself for an hour. And then one more hour ... I would have done it for a whole day .. but I had an exam coming up. So with the all the cursing pushed into the subconscious, I moved to the bathroom for a certain missed call, that i had to attend.

I had my second encounter.But this time, a role reversal had taken place. I opened the bathroom by clutching the door knob and turning it ninety degrees for the door to open.

Something slithered under my hand.

I lifted my hand from the knob to find that i had fully squeezed a lizard that was coolly sitting on the doorknob. In revulsion - I darted back and so did it. I guess it scurried away into the murky depths of the bathroom, thinking it wasnt a cool idea anymore to sit on a doorknob and expecting something fun or appetising to happen - what was the point of sitting on a doorknob - was it trying to do a MI-2 stunt by dangling from the edge of a cliff-like doorknob or was it waiting for the door to spout out some knock-knock jokes ?

A question that will not be answered for eternity. Two encounters - And i was the predator the second time.

I now hate the color white and my right hand. The first i could easily ignore, but how does one ignore a hand - it's really really been tough typing this entire blog up with my left hand.

[Television narrator deep threatening voice] : What do you do when animals attack ?

[Eerie pipe organ ending music]

[A description of close encounters with other species]
- Abhishek Ranganathan

{I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.- Winston Churchill}

Eating habits die hard

As an unwritten, invisible rule, a few of the students in my class (me included) select a new place to eat, every week or so, by comparing past induvidual experiences or new attractive offers from restaurants and eateries all over Chennai. Each guy would be asked to suggest a place and after a careful reviewal and a complete analysis, the members of this group would pass a vote over this new eatout. Only if a proper majority is obtained, do we actually go to this place.

Usually after we decide on this place, we decide on the day and time and make sure that everubody remembers it by calling or messaging each other. Then, when the golden day arrives, we plan proper road routes and meet-ups on the way so that we get there on time and we get there together. When the golden hour dawns, we leave early and make sure that we arent actualy holding up the others. Payment is purely on an induvidual basis and usual restaurant choices are those that weigh more on our stomachs and less on our pockets. When we finally do get there, we eat. Planning for almost a week literally goes down the drain, a few hours after eating (you can make that in less than an hour, when your stomach is unable to adapt).

We then stay at the joint, continuously talking about going someplace else and having fun, but all we do at that point is talk and go back home. And, before we leave, an instant official poll is taken about the place, its value, the taste of food, quantity, quality, price, and most important of all - is it good enough to visit again ? (Listing out such factors influencing our decision sounds very similar to a 'Principles of Management' theory question. The exam went fine though - very lengthy, very boring yet its gotta be done. That description sounds more like college lectures, though. )

Unusual planning is usually done by unusual people. But, this bunch of unusual people dont plan this unusual method of dining for the sake of simply dining. Its done for the sake of dining together - the most important part of the plan. Eating habits sometimes do die, but can be camouflaged for the sake of the others in the group.

On another matter, most of the students 'prepared' to write the Management exam were all secretly expecting a strike to appear and give us a few more days of peace (- now thats irony). Yet, the exam went on, with a few policemen snoozing at the gate, ready to act in case of any protests.

I guess people do get tired of strikes .....

[How do i describe this - ok, i'll be frank, its a boring post]
-- Frank Ranganathan (i did say i'll be frank)

{Strike while the iron is hot - anonymous}
We had no iron in our strike, but things did get hot.

'Managing' to study

I have a "Principles of Management and Organizational Behaviour" University exam in two days. I'm glad University exams have been scheduled and also glad it hasnt been postponed or cancelled [heaven forbid]. But the name "Management" suggests to be the most boring paper possible. It really is hard not to fall asleep when reviewing something known as "Fayol's famous 14 principles of Management". I'd really like to meet this Fayol guy and ask him why he had to impose completely unnecessary and totally non-understandable principles on the innocent students who actually chose to study engineering.

I'm seriously concerned about students who can sit through such lectures without banging your slowly falling face on the desk or trying to sleep without the faculty noticing. I do it everyday in Management class and if awake, I count the number of people who are either trying very hard to concentrate, yet falling asleep and others who are really trying very hard to sleep. God help people who have to sit through 2 years of such classes for an MBA degree. Maybe the high salary for MBA graduates isnt for their management knowledge, but for the fact that they made it out of the most boring 2 years in the history of the world.

Such students getting an award after going through a big ordeal is a good thing. In a similar way, Students who go through 4 years of hostel life in Sathyabama supposedly get a gold watch. In this case, a gold watch isnt enough. They should give out a lifetime achievement award. Its like being paroled out of jail.

My bench constitutes of four people. Myself usually sitting in the corner and switching places with 'Pulli' if I either have to sleep or I have to write notes - which I frequently do for classes that I missed by sleeping. In Sathyabama, You have to write notes for every single damn class as the teachers check in the end of the semester and then sign a stupid 'No Due' form that gets us the hall ticket. Stupid procedure.

Anyway, 'Pulli' is V.Arravindh who is an eccentric character (who isnt ?) who got his unusual name from 'Pulli Rajavukku AIDS varuma ?' - a popular AIDS awareness advertisement. He had a few pimples on his face in the first semester (which has now gone after a few visits to the doctor). This characterized itself as 'Pullis' or dots and hence the name stuck. He is a guy who never gets angry (i.e. I've never seen him angry) and is suspected to have a split personality, where the other personality is most probably going to be the angriest guy you ever met.

Karthik Ramachandran or 'Raama' (to avoid confusion from the four other Karthiks in class) is a quiet and intelligent guy sitting next to Arravindh and never used to talk in the first few semesters of college. Now joining into all types of jokes, his first year shell is nowhere to be seen. Having really insightful opinions that make sense, I ask him most of the things I dont understand in class (which is a lot) and mostly get the answers if he isnt sleeping (which our whole bench loves to do).

B.Deepak or 'Beedi' is a thin bespectacled guy who has different opinions on everything and changes a 'so-called-crush' every other semester or year and bores the others by saying he has desperate feelings for her, while secretly telling me that such things are just time pass and required in this age of life. A guy who is ever-ready to help and just lives down the road to me, All three benchmates are great friends.

Our bench has gotten a 'wonderful' name among teachers and even the quiet Raama has been called out by a teacher because of the other three guys. I love to have fun, even if a teacher is in class. I've been called 'irresponsible', 'intelligent yet not attentive in class' and mainly a 'methaavi' which I will never fully understand what it means.

How could I live in Tamil Nadu on May 8th 2006 and not mention elections. Sadly, I did not vote. I was looking forward to it, but couldnt go because I got up really really late (as I went to bed really really late) and when we almost wanted to go, It was blazing hot outside and my mom and I didnt want to go and stand in a long queue in the hot sun. I know that we have to exercise our right to vote, but out 'exercising' might have led to dehydration which I did not want to risk with the recent sudden rise in deaths by summer dehydration.

Anyway - Happy studying to all engineers with exams and happy living to all others.

[A revelation of feelings two days before an exam]
-- Abhishek Ranganathan

{ "A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking." - Jerry Seinfeld }